I stand on the edge of distraction.  I gradually make my way to the ledge.  I peer over, take a deep breath, jump.

I ran into an old friend this morning.  One I haven't seen in a very long time.  She looked just as beautiful as I remembered.  Maybe even more so.

Our interaction was brief, with the tension thick enough to divide us.  There is baggage there, as much as I would like to deny it.  Things that get in the way of us actually seeing each other, even if it's just over coffee.

I walked away with an unexpected feeling, of sadness and discontent.  One I've lived internally many of times.  I've discovered that I think she had more of an impact on my life then I gave her credit for.  I sit now wondering if the things that got in the way are gone.  Tiny clues given to me in our momentary interaction.  As I stand on another cliff, on another edge, I realize my regretful mistake.  It is a regret.  Losing a friend.  The things that got in the way are gone, I'm now left with two empty hands and a friend lost.

Maybe one day it will be the way it was.  The way it was supposed to be.

"But thoughts they change 
and times they rearrange
I don't know who you are anymore
Loves come and go and this I know
I'm not who you recall anymore
But I must confess
you're so much more than I remember
Can't help but entertain
these thoughts, thoughts of us together


We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when"

So I realized today how excited for the cruise I actually am.  So much so I started planning my next trip, but I'll get to that momentarily.

As the blur known as my week progressed I realized how much work I actually need to do before I leave, and how with the time available it will be practically impossible, so I've settled in a place of acceptance.  Accepting that everything will not get done.  What will get done?  Glad you asked.  I will present my long overdue proposal tomorrow and after, I'm sure to feel fulfilled.  I also hope to take my car into the body shop so it will get fixed while I'm away.  Lastly on the agenda for tomorrow is for me to present my "baby sitting" skills to my friends mom to provide her comfort with whom he will be with on the cruise.

As for the rest of the week?  On the top of my priority list is to get my haircut, go tanning, and sign my lease for my new apartment.

I had an amazing evening filled with fun.  First off I met some friends for dinner at the first bike night of the season.  I felt a little rusty riding "candy" but am confident that it will all come back soon.  After a good time chatting it up, I went to another friends house for our weekly Lost night.  Man that show just keeps getting better and better.

And now I'm tired, so it is time for me to retire...you thought I forgot didn't you.  I say nay nay.  So I decided today that I will be spending my next Christmas in Europe.  Where in Europe?  Not entirely sure.  I know I'm going to Paris.  I'd like to go to London, Germany, Italy, and Spain, but we will see where I end up as I will be gone for a little over 7 days.

Who will I be going with?  Again, I'm not sure.  If I end up going alone that's fine and almost preferred.  I think this is just something I need to do.  Something for me.  As cliche as it sounds, a way for me to find myself.

And now it is time for me to find my pillow.  Goodnight all.

It's a shame that it has taken me so long to write on here.  I've had a great couple of weeks.  Not this past weekend but the previous weekend I went up to the mountains, to a small town called Grand Lake with a few of my friends including my girl.  It was a nice little get away.  A mini escape from the real world.

Then Thanksgiving.  Last week at work was a cake walk, things were pretty slow around the office which was a nice departure.  Wednseday night was great, I had an impromptu get together where we nerded it up with some good old fashioned rockband playing.  Thursday I got up early and drove down to Colorado Springs where I spent the day with some family and some good food.  After a nap I drove back home to I could get up bright and early and brave the crowds of Black Friday.  It was a crazy scene but I was able to get some good deals and take home a few treats.  Friday night consisted of Thuy and I meeting Lee, Lynn, Chris, and a few other people from work, for a delightful evening of Holiday fun, as we watched the lighting of downtown Littleton.  The rest of the weekend was spent relaxing and getting ready for life to start back up again.

After a wonderful couple of days off it was back to work today.  Woke up late, but eventually got to work and it ended up not being that bad of a day.  So tonight I'm decorating my Christmas Tree with Thuy.  Christmas time is here and boy am I jumping head first.